The Amazing Race, Facebook, and Twitter

I’m a student of the world. Everywhere I go, I try to learn, and I try to think about what is really happening. Psychology is a subject that fascinates me, and I’m very fortunate that many of the successes and principles behind Web 2.0 and Social Media are grounded upon human behaviour patterns.

I’ve watched The Amazing Race a few times, and one of the reasons I like that show is because it exposes you to cities across the world. I think this is what is referred to as armchair traveling. As you know, the teams always comprise of varied relationships – best friends, married couples, engaged couples, parent and sibling, siblings, and so on. I think this is a smart move by the producers because it brings an interesting dynamic. The last show I watched (which was a few months ago, and I’ve had this post lurking in my brain since then) made me aware of something. I thought about the fact that certain teams, especially when they were behind in the race or in difficult circumstances, started to argue and be really nasty. They had a camera right in front of them, would that not deter them from showing their “true colours” and behaving just slightly more civil? Surely they knew that this was going to be aired to millions of viewers, including their own close friends and family.

I watched this and pondered about it. The camera didn’t matter. The millions of viewers didn’t matter. They wanted to win the million dollar prize – that is all that mattered.

I’ve been researching and monitoring behaviour patterns and trends on Facebook and Twitter for a very long time now. In fact, I capture most of these conversations using a neat application called Evernote. [You'd do yourself a huge favour by checking it out.] I have a few thousand clippings, and I intend to use them in 2 eBooks I’m planning to write. What is very clear to me is that when people are tested, and go through a bad time, they tend to say all sorts of things. They don’t seem to care who is watching or listening. I’m not talking about the moaners (I wrote about them here) – those who complain all the time – that’s a different group of people. I’m talking about people who are seemingly moderate and polite, but change when faced with even the slightest challenge or discomfort.

Stephen Covey refers to these behaviour changes as the Personality Ethic and the Character Ethic. You Personality Ethic is what the world sees at first glance. The Character Ethic is who you really are, but not all people see this – sometimes it’s hidden, but in tough circumstances hiding it becomes close to impossible.

He says:

In most one-shot or short-lived human interactions, you can use the Personality Ethic to get by and to make favorable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in other people’s hobbies. You can pick up quick, easy techniques that may work in short-term situations. But secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships. Eventually, if there isn’t deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace short-term success.

Furthermore…

Many people with secondary greatness – that is, social recognition for their talents – lack primary greatness or goodness in their character. Sooner or later, you’ll see this is every long term relationship they have, whether it is with a business associate, a spouse, a friend, or a teenage child going through an identity crisis. It is character that communicates most eloquently. As Emerson once put it, “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.”

Of course, if we’re people with true integrity, our Character Ethic will show that in tough circumstances, and this will validate our Personality Ethic. This is why customers now have a choice of who to work with. Customers can now monitor the ethics of an individual or company and then choose whether or not to enter into a business relationship. The same is true for personal relationships. The Internet has exposed us, so to speak.

I think it’s time we need to work on our Character Ethic.

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